oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
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My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
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please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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