Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize