YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
