I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
