if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
