Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
