so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
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Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
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Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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