You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I think we might need a safe word for this...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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