wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
why do cheetos always look like penises
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
