I hate all girls vehemently.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
