Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
