I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
