Rock
Scissors
Fuck
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
