Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
