Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
