Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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