Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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