The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
