Fuck appropriateness.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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