Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
