If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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