Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
