so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
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We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
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When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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