If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
