I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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