So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
