...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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