Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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