I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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