I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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