its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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