someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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