Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
