he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
