I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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