He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
