my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
