Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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