I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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