I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
