Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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