And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I touched a dick in church today
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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