It's Friday. Sex?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
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the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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