At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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