He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
