i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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