Duck Duck Cougar?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
