There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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