Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
