so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
