I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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