So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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