i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
