He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
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He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
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So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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