talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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