I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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