he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
